These are funny - enjoy!

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who esc! aped fro m prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran..

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

2 Timothy 1:7

Jesus is so faithful! When He wants to remind you of something He often does it through a variety of ways. I guess repetition is the key to learning.

In my last post I forgot to include the way Yvonne encourages me to push aside the fear that pops up. She quotes 2 Timothy 1:7 to me...

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

She told me that last night again and I said, "yea, but I know too much about that verse. It doesn't apply in this situation. That applies to timidity in witnessing." She came back and said this verse applies exactly, because you're trying to encourage others to call for the elders of the church to pray for them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord when they're sick. You're trying to share with them what Jesus did for you. If you let fear stop you then this verse applies directly to you! I admitted that she was right.

I just came back from the bank and post office and on the way had the local Christian radio station on. Guess what the preacher was preaching about? You guessed it - 2 Timothy 1:7.

In your prayers for me please pray that I will keep my eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of my faith, and to remember the words of 2 Timothy 1:7!

Update on my condition...

When it comes to spiritual things I always try to be absolutely clear, precise and honest. I want to always glorify Jesus Christ my Lord so that He gets all of the credit and praise. I also don't want to overstate anything that would create confusion. So I want to give those of you who read my testimony an update on what's going on with me.

First off, I slept through the night for the first time Tuesday night! Thank you Jesus! Yesterday when I got up I was feeling great and wanted to share my healing with everyone. I first made a "status update" on my Facebook account and then proceded to write the story here. As I began to write my left hip began to hurt, not bad, but it still hurt. That went to my left thigh and to my left knee. and then down to the left ankle.

I really struggled with whether to publish the testimony at all or not. I also struggled with whether I had been healed or not. I began to experience fear that the whole horrible pain would return. I didn't want to look stupid for saying something happened that didn't, but I pressed on and finished the story and published the post. Amazingly enough as soon aa I published it the pain went away again. I can't explain that.

Last night I again slept throgh the night, but this morning my left hip, thigh, knee, and shin hurt. Not the excruciating pain I was feeling before my healing, but nontheless, it is painful. I can walk and bend and don't have the debilitating pain I had before, but nonetheless, it does hurt.

I am still following my doctor's advice and taking my meds, icing my back, doing the stretches, and resting. I am also still believing that the Lord healed me of the excruciating pain I was feeling the other day and I praise and thank Him for that!!!! I do not know why I am experiencing the pain I am at the moment. But I would like those of you who are reading this and who care, to please pray for me that the Lord will heal the rest of this problem for His glory.

I tried, by faith, to push past the discomfort I was feeling today to attend a clergy/pastor conference at the Norfolk Naval Station, but could only sit there for an hour before the discomfort became too much. I didn't want to disrupt the procedings by constantly getting up and going out and coming back in, so I left. That was disapointing.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with a chiropractor to see if there is anything he might be able to do. Then on Monday I have a follow-up appointment with my primary care medical doctor. On the 21st I have an MRI scheduled at Portsmouth Medical Center to actually look inside and see what's going on.

Again, I believe Jesus healed me of whatever was causing the excruciating pain I was experiencing the other day in answer to the prayers of the elders. I give Him all of the praise and glory for that! I still believe it was a miracle! The fear of that coming back does pop it's ugly head up from time to time. Yvonne helps me to push it away, and I keep trying to believe and trust the Lord that it will not.

So, I am asking for your prayers for my complete healing from this back and sciatic nerve problem I am having. It makes it hard to focuas on anything else, although I am trying. Thank you and I will keep you updated on this spiritual journey...

Calling for the elders of the church - divine healing!

My friends, I believe in miracles! Jesus is alive and is my healer! Here's the story as best I remember the events...

About a month or so ago I felt a little "twinge" in my left hip while sitting in my office working on my computer. Nothing significant, but I noticed it. A few days later when I got up from my office chair it felt like my left leg sort of "gave way" and I had to catch myself. I thought, "That's weird" but went on about my business. It happened another time a few days later but then didn't happen again.

But over time, my back and left leg began to hurt. This isn't the first time this has happened so I wasn't too alarmed. The last time the doctors took x-rays and diagnosed me with degenerative disk disease in my lower back. The disk had "collapsed" (more so on the left side) and decreased the pathway for the sciatic nerve to exit my vertebrae. When the sciatic nerve is impinged (pinched) it creates pain all the way down the leg to the ankle. Basically the doctors said it would be a matter of maintaining the pain with medication when it occurs. The best remedy they said was for me to lose a significant amount of weight, and exercise (especially the back and abdominal muscles). I was able to control the pain by just taking Excedrin and exercised regularly. I did that for quite a while and the pain became minimal (and I lost 25 pounds).

But with working on my dissertation and rebuilding our web site I sluffed off going to the gym and exercising. And I confess, my posture for hours at a time in my office chair was bad. I have a tendency to slouch to the left and lean on my left arm while working the mouse with my left hand. I am guessing that that is what may have triggered this most recent bout with my back and left leg. I can't think of anything else I did that would have caused it.

So, I went back to the gym to exercise. I worked out on the Nautilus machines focusing on my back and abs and hips and rear end. but the pain didn't go away, it only got worse. So I scheduled an appointment with a chiropractor last Wednesday. I regularly iced my back and performed some rudimentary stretches he recommended; but my pain got so bad that when I went in for my next appointment on Friday I could barely walk. The doctor was surprised at the pain I was in. He gave me my adjustment and then said I should probably go to the clinic to get some medication for the pain, which I did on Saturday. They examined me and gave me Vicodin. It helped me sleep, but did almost nothing for the pain. Every time I tried to change position or roll over I would wake up in excruciating pain!

The pain got so bad that I could barely walk. At first the only relief I got was when I put ice on my back, or got into a kneeling position by a chair, or laid on my right side in bed with my legs drawn up (kind of a fetal position). Once I did one of those things I felt better for a little while.

Sunday was Yvonne's birthday and we planned to have Sarah and Brian over for dinner. I didn't want to spoil Yvonne's birthday so we decided to have them come on over. We ate dinner with me kneeling at a chair to eat by the table. And then we played a game of Settlers of Catan, again with me kneeling by a chair. What a sight that was. As a matter of fact, they got a picture of me...


Brian won the game!


Sunday night the pain got so bad that nothing I tried made the pain subside. Many times all I could do was cry out to the Lord for mercy and that he would relieve the pain! Often it got so bad all I could do was scream and beg God to help me! I also tried worshipping and praising the Lord and telling Him that I loved Him even in the midst of my pain. After a while the ice and the kneeling position didn't help any more. I only slept a couple of hours at a time out of sheer exhaustion! The thought occurred to me a few times, during times of less intense pain, to call for the elders of my church and have them come and anoint me with oil and pray for me according to James 5:14-15, but I didn't.

By Monday morning I was hurting so badly that Yvonne called Boone clinic and made an appointment for me, and we went in. Sitting in the car was excruciatingly painful, my only comfort being that I knew it was only a ten minute drive. I hobbled in as best I could and knelt on the pillow I brought in front of the chair in the waiting room. When the nurse called me in, I could only kneel in front of a chair to have any sort of relief from the pain while waiting for the doctor. The doctor gave me a shot of pain medication in my hip, but after an hour it had absolutely no effect! They prescribed three other muscle relaxants and pain medications for me that Yvonne went to the pharmacy to pick up. When she came back, the medical staff said they had done all they could for me in that setting and recommended Yvonne take me to the Portsmouth Medical Center emergency room.

I couldn't sit in the wheelchair they provided because it hurt too much. So I leaned on it and pushed it as I hobbled out the door, accompanied by three nurses. The staff at Boone Clinic were wonderful to me!

I dreaded the 40 minute ride in the car to the hospital. I laid on my right side in the back seat of the car, which was tolerable as long as long as Yvonne didn't hit any major pot holes. When we got to the hospital a very nice African-American gentleman (not one of the hospital staff) told me to lean on him and he helped me into the hospital. Again, I kneeled on my pillow on the floor in front of a chair while Yvonne checked me in. They took me into triage and took my vitals with me still kneeling on the floor. What a sight I must have been!

Not long after, two young hospital corpsmen came and let me lean on them as they took me to a bed. Laying on my right side again immediately reduced the pain I was feeling. The doctors and nurses came in, checked me over, and said they would try to alleviate the pain I was feeling. They gave me two percoset pills (sp?) and two Valium pills and let me lay there for a while (I don't remember how long). Then they said they had done all they could and sent me home. They gave me a prescription for Valium that Yvonne went to the pharmacy to fill. I laid in the back of the car to wait for her; a wait that ended up being 2 1/2 hours long!

Finally we got home. I took the medicines, but it didn't seem like they touched the pain. I hobbled around, I iced my back, I cried, I screamed, I prayed and prayed, and begged and pleaded with the Lord to take away the pain. I think I went to bed then and slept for an hour or so, but woke in the same pain. No position I got in seemed to alleviate the pain now. The verse went through my mind again to call for the elders of the church to come and anoint me with oil and pray for me. But by now it was midnight. But I had Yvonne make the call for me.

Pastor Maye had just driven 600 miles from meetings in south Georgia and had been asleep for half an hour, but he agreed to call some of the other elders and come and pray for me. They arrived at about 1:00am. Pastor Maye read the passage of Scripture in James 5 and he and Dave anointed me and prayed over me that the Lord would heal me and take away the pain I was experiencing.

I felt like I had been obedient to the Lord and His Word and called for the elders of the church and they were obedient to come and anoint me and pray for me. Now the rest was in the Lord's hands.We talked for a short time and they left.

Yvonne and I went to bed, but the pain was still unbearable! I cried and begged God for relief, I screamed and pleaded for His mercy. Yvonne was in tears and suddenly, through her tears screamed out "Satan I rebuke you, get your hands off of him in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth!"

By that time I was so exhausted I climbed in be and fell asleep. The next time I woke up I think it was about 6:00 or so. My side hurt so I got out of bed and tried walking to our other bedroom where Yvonne was getting ready for work. I gingerly got out of bed and tried to walk and noticed that it wasn't hurting as much as the night before and the more I walked the better it was feeling. I laid back down again and my leg hurt, so I got back up. The more I walked the better it felt and better I was able to walk. I felt like the blind man in the Bible that Jesus healed and when he opened his eyes he said he saw men as trees walking. In other words, it was part of the way there. I asked the Lord to please continue the healing.

Yvonne went to work about 9:30 and I took my medicine and went back to bed. I slept till 3:30. That's the most sleep I had gotten throughout this whole ordeal. When I woke up and tried getting out of bed I noticed there was no pain!! I got up and I could walk, bend, sit, and everything. Wow, did I worship and praise the Lord for that! Jesus had done the work! He had answered prayer and healed me of that excruciating pain.

I got up and walked around the house, praising and worshipping Him. I took a shower and got dressed so that I would look good for Yvonne when she came home from work. I felt really good! Later Marian, Pastor Maye's wife called to see how I was doing and I was able to give her the great news! I also called Dave to let him know what had happened. I believe that was a miracle in answer to being obedient to His Word. I thank Him for His faithfulness.

Sarah came over to the house and when she saw me standing there feeling good she was shocked. A few minutes later Yvonne walked in from work and was also shocked! We all praised the Lord Jesus for His healing!

I wanted to write this story as a way of encouraging you to believe in the Word of God and obey it. James 5:14-15 says,

"Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven."

If you're sick, call for the elders of your church and have them come and anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord Jesus and pray for you. Don't wait. And if you're an elder of a church, please be willing to obey the Word and go when someone calls. This is all about loving and following Jesus and loving each other. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that my pastor and Dave came to pray for me in the middle of the night!

Monday Evening...

On Monday Andy and his parents loaded all of his stuff from Andy's storage unit and packed it into their van and a U-Haul trailer hooked behind Andy's truck. The night before we planned to get together again for dinner and another game in the evening. Andy placed his order for Yvonne's Lasagna for dinner and to play Attack Uno afterward. He liked the game the first time he played it here a few weeks before. Mike and Ruth had never played it before.


This is Mike and Ruth Davis



I don't like all these cards in my hand...yuck!


Mike won four rounds out of five to win the game!

Then on Tuesday morning the Davis's pulled out to drive back to Illinois. The worst winter ice storm of the season was moving east and they were going to try to outrun it up north. everything to the north of the ice band was supposed to be snow. Mike felt that would be all right as long as it wasn't ice. andy will spen the next three years as an instructor at Great Lakes Naval Traiing Center teaching recruits how to use small arms.

Sunday with Ruth, Mike, and Andy...

Sunday afternoon about 3:00 o'clock Andy came in with his mom (Ruth) and dad (Mike). Yvonne was preparing lunch for us all but found out they had just eaten lunch, so Yvonne slowed the process down and we visited and got to know each other. We decided to eat later and make it an evening meal instead of noon (Yvonne is so flexible!) For those of you interested in the menu, she made terriaki chicken and rice for dinner, and apple crisp for dessert.


This is the mouse eye view of us at dinner

After we ate we played Settlers of Catan. Andy, Ruth, and Mike had never played it before. But, they caught on really quick!

We had a lot of fun together!


Yvonne won

Saturday Night RISK Battle!

Saturday evening Nichole Thomas came over and Andy Davis joined us. We had pizza for dinner and played RISK! Nic and Andy took Yvonne and me out of the game (I've never seen anyone roll as many six's as Nic did!). Then at 9:00pm they decided they had had enough and split up the world and called it a draw. Andy controlled North, South, and Central America, and Nic had the rest of the world. We closed the evening praying together.